So, what do you do?
This is the first question many people ask when they meet you for the first time … as if the occupation was the most important thing about a person. But curiosity is, after all, quite human, and I am an extremely curious being too, so I can totally relate to that.
Okay, so I am going to tell you what I do.
I am a shamanic singer. Does that sound strange? Well, maybe it is. I never thought that I would end up doing something like this. I used to love punk and rock’n roll, and I had always wanted to become a rock singer. To this day, I love all kinds of music with electric guitars, from melodic punk to grunge and stoner rock to post rock, prog and black metal. But by coincidence – or divine guidance, depending on how you look at it – it happened that I came into contact with very different sounds …
At that time I was studying English literature at the Free University of Berlin, and a fellow student asked me if I was interested to translate the workshop of an American family therapist. Although I had never done anything like that, I was confident I could do it. At the job interview I was told that there would be 40 participants and those who were sitting at the back of the room needed to be able to hear me too, so it was important that my speech be loud and clear.
Speaking in a loud voice had always been difficult for me, so I knew I had to come up with something until the workshop came around. I had heard that overtones amplify the voice, but I didn’t really know a lot about overtones. All I knew was the AUM. So I started to chant the AUM every day for half an hour, hoping that it would clear my sinuses and amplify the reach of my voice. That was all the thought I gave to it at the time.
What happened then came as a huge surprise. After some months of chanting the AUM, another tone joined the first one, then a third one appeared. The tones started to form little melodies. I was baffled, but out of pure curiosity I decided to go along with this unexpected development and see what would happen further. I sang the tones on some vowels and followed whatever would come up.
What came up was quite a lot. It didn’t always sound like singing – often there was a lot of moaning and groaning going on, sometimes it sounded like croaks or grunts, followed again by more melodic parts. I started noticing that it was important to remain open for whatever way the tones wanted to change, because it was easy to lose focus and get stuck in a rut, and miss the change that wanted to happen. And my inner critic squirmed with embarrassment, because of course he wanted the sounds to be “beautiful” – but this wasn’t about the accepted ideal of “beautiful” singing. That much was already clear. The dear critic had to live with the fact that what emerged through my voice often sounded pretty weird.
After I had practiced in this way for a while, suddenly consonants started coming. Ooops! Another surprise! Of course the “M” in the AUM had been a consonant already, and the first melodies had contained nasal sounds like “ng”, “n” and “m”, but those merged seamlessly with the vowels and hardly appeared as actual consonants. But now “hard” consonants like “t” and “k” appeared. It was almost starting to sound like words.
Oooh, it’s doing things!
At that time I had a good friend who was also interested in energy work. I told her about the singing and the tones and asked if she was interested to experiment with it. I wanted to connect the singing with an intention and then let whatever wanted to come, come through. She was willing to serve as a guinea pig for my experiments. We met once a week in my home, and I toned for her. We usually opened the session with a short chakra meditation, always starting with the root chakra … when we continued up the chakra ladder, we soon discovered what spirit had in mind for us that day.
Through her feedback I found out that the tones were really always “right”. Once extremely shrill sounds started coming, and I got scared that the neighbours would give us trouble when I continued doing these sounds. So when more of these wanted to come through, I repressed them out of fear. When I was finished and we talked about it, my friend said, “Of these sounds I could have used some more!” I burst out laughing and told her, “Yes, they did want to come … but I was too scared to let them.”
After a certain number of sessions it seemed that whatever was supposed to happen for her, had been completed, because from then on we could not find another suitable time to meet. Everything is always divinely guided … but that too is something you have to find out for yourself. 🙂
A New Language
So I continued on alone. I seemed to move through layers. The groaning and moaning, which had been so prominent in the beginning, seemed to retreat more and more, and the tones became more harmonious … as if through the toning a lot of pain had been released, and the harmony that had been buried under that pain could now emerge. (At least that was my assumption.)
More consonants were still appearing. It felt as if I was shown new ones every time I had “mastered” the previous ones. When it went well with the k and t sounds, suddenly I got p and b, which had not appeared in the singings before at all. Then came a dark rolled “l” as in “well”. Relatively late, soft s sounds started appearing – a “z” sound as in “zodiac” and a soft “zh” as in French “jour”. A kind of language started emerging.
If my partner at the time had not happened to understand that language, I would probably have thought it was just gibberish. He had a natural (albeit undeveloped) mediumistic gift and was able to translate some of it for me. Because the funny thing was that although I could speak this language, I could not understand it. I was too focused on sending the message to be able to open up to receiving it simultaneously. He translated it for me for quite some time, until it was clear to me without a doubt that these were not random syllables, but that a meaning was indeed transmitted. Then he stopped. Some years later I met a shamanic practitioner in the south of Germany who was also able to understand it. That was all the “outside” confirmation that I received. Apparently this was also about learning to trust what was happening, knowing that it was right and continuing even if I did not receive outside validation.
One day, through an awesome synchronicity, I was led into a workshop entitled “The Heritage of Our Ancestors”, where we sang, danced and toned a lot. In the yoga centre where it was happening, of course we could be as loud as we wanted to be, much louder than at home. I assume that my throat chakra must have opened up wider through all that loud chanting, because a couple of days after the workshop, I found myself sitting in front of my mini-disc Walkman, speaking a question into the microphone and waiting for an answer … which indeed came. I had started channeling my Higher Self.
In the beginning, it was incredibly hard to keep my focus. 30 minutes was the most that I could do. And even that I could do only in the quiet of my room. As soon as I stepped out into the street, the connection was totally gone, and I was back to 100% muggle consciousness, which was very frustrating for me. But of course I kept going, it was just too much fun. 🙂 And after a while of practicing, it became much easier to stay in the energy.
Creation Through Sound
For the next six months I was completely happy to be channeling my Higher Self. I had no desire for other “contacts”. However, then I happened to connect with a group of entities who told me that they were Creator beings and they had used sound to create for eons of time. They told me that the language I spoke in had been my language from the very beginning, and it was actually not meant to be used for communication, rather it was an instrument of creation. In a way, you use the language to make connections into those realms where the building blocks for the creation you want to manifest are located. It’s a bit like reaching into different shelves to take down the building blocks which you can then combine to form a new creation.
The beings were interested to sing through me, and so I did a little sound session with them every day. After we finished the singing, they explained to me what had happened (eg., breaking up blocks) or what the theme of the singing had been (eg. a creation song for the New Earth).
Careful what you wish, you just might get it …
They also told me a lot about the clarity of intention that has to be effective in a singing if you do not want to create totally contradictory manifestations that work against each other. Nothing in your unconscious mind should say “No” when you speak the intention aloud, and it has to sound absolutely right. “Otherwise it’s a bit as if you have one foot on the gas and the other on the brake”, they explained. “That way, you’re not really going to get anywhere, you waste a lot of fuel, and you wear down your motor as well.”
So I had to learn first to find out whether I really wanted to see the intention I was speaking manifested. Many people “wish” or use the “Cosmic Ordering Service”, but they are not really willing to live with the changes that will inevitably come when their wish comes true. In such a case there will always be a part or parts of them that will work against the manifestation, and then they wonder why “nothing” seems to happen.
To be willing to be absolutely clear and honest with yourself is the absolute basic requirement when you want to create things. Otherwise you’re going to create “by default”, according to your unconscious programming. But of course, even if you are growing ever more conscious, every once in a while you will create something weird that you had not intended. From the results you are getting you can always recognize very well what your intention actually was, even if you thought it was something completely different. It’s an ongoing process, and ideally you will get to know yourself better and better, and get an increasingly clearer picture of what it is you really want.
Over time, I also started finding more people who wanted to try the singing. I received a large variety of feedbacks, from remembering past lives, to new clarity in decision-making, pain in the knees disappearing (I had not even known about that pain prior to the singing) and improved money flow. It also became clear that only as much could happen as the person receiving the singing was willing to allow.
The most amazing thing for me, however, happened in 2012 when I met a clairvoyant aura healer and asked him if he was interested in doing sessions with me where I would sing and he would tell me what he sees. He immediately agreed, we met for a session, and my chin dropped to the floor when he described his perceptions to me. He saw geometrical figures, timelines, old belief patterns from historical epochs that were dissolving, and once even the Queen of the Fairies bringing presents. And even at those bits where I had felt uncertain if I was still “in the flow”, everything had been exactly right.
The Sound of LIght
Also in 2012, I found the Light Language Activations of Judy Satori. She speaks a language that sounds totally different from mine … and she speaks it so fast that it makes me wonder how she can move her tongue that fast. She says that she was trained in it for years by the Elohim and other beings of light, and that the sounds carry light codings. On her website (which in 2012 was still called “The Sound of Light”) she has an incredible amount of recordings for many different applications. This was the first time I came across someone who does this kind of work. Meanwhile I have heard of others who channel light language and sound. It is beautiful to see that this kind of work is now spreading, and I am very curious to see how it will develop further.